Overtime and finances
Terry first time reaching out. My question is I work a lot of overtime because I want to and I want to save that money for something I’ve always wanted. The issue is my wife believes that I should give all the money to her for bills. My response to that is with both of us working me an average of 64 hrs a week her 3 days a week we should not be living beyond what we make a 40 hr work week and her 3 days. When it comes to the bills it is a big issue as she believes that even though we are married everything is hers and I’m screwing her over. I have no say so as to how much we put extra towards certain bills and I’m also responsible for covering her exs financial responsibility for his two children. Seems 10000 a month is not enough for bills. Am I wrong to keep my ot or should I give my wife all my money? Please help as my wife listens to you and follows you.
Terry Says
Whew — First may I suggest you “invest” $16.95 and buy a copy of my obviously prescient book — The New Love Deal — which I co-authored with a famed divorce attorney Gemma Allen, and well respect former divorce court judge, the Hon. Michele Lowerance. Here’s the link.
On Amazon, the descriptive copy says: “People can talk about love. People can talk about money. The really hard thing is to talk about those two topics together. Especially when getting married or moving in together!”
I suggest reading this book because it will give you a framework for an absolutely necessary discussion. Without reaching an understand of not only the financial, but emotional issues involved, money becomes a deal-breaker. Especially in second marriages.
Even if the two of you do not end up together, going through this process will give you insights that will last your lifetime — separately or as a couple.
I wish I could boil it down to some simple advice. Most of these issues about handling money should have been discussed before you married. But it is not too late, assuming you both want to make it work.
From where I sit, your wife is about to learn an expensive lesson. Perhaps it will motivate her to consider where she would be without any of your money! And that could be the case, if you don’t have children together and if you haven’t been married very long. All worth considering!
