Once upon a time parents and children sat down together for the toughest talk: the birds and the bees. Now it’s time to face up to an even tougher conversation: The bills and the wills.
As the baby boom generation ages and their adult children mature in their careers, boomers confront the most difficult challenge – facing their own mortality. It comes as a shock to realize they may have to cede both power and control.

Boomers have been able to postpone the realities of aging through medical technologies like hip replacements and cataract surgeries and new drugs that extend active living. But reality eventually intrudes.

This holiday season is the perfect time to acknowledge the realities of aging. And if you’re fortunate to have a trusted “next generation” in your family, it’s time to pass the baton of financial knowledge and control – or at least share it.

Making a Plan
The first step is making the plan. More than 40 percent of baby boomers do not have an estate plan – an official will or revocable living trust. We are not immortal! And we are past the time when procrastination is allowed.

This is not about how much money you think you’ll have left at your death. It is also about empowering others to act if you are ill or unable to handle your financial affairs in your last years. A few simple powers of attorney for healthcare and finances might even be enough in your situation. But you won’t know until you get competent advice.

I never suggest an online will or estate plan. You’re bound to make a mistake – and you’ll be dead or demented by the time they discover it. Instead, find an attorney who specializes in estate planning. Ask at your local bank or Rotary club. Or go online to Search-Attorneys.com to find a professional.

Don’t be deterred by fear of the cost. A simple will or revocable living trust will save a small fortune in legal fees and a nightmare of delays and confusion for those you love. I’ve written extensively on this topic, and I have posted a video about wills and trusts on the home page at TerrySavage.com.

The key decision you must make is deciding whom you trust to carry out your wishes in your last years and after your death. Naming an executor for your will or successor trustee for your living trust or a healthcare surrogate is the most important decision you must make. Do that before you meet with an attorney. This is not about fairness; it is about competence.

Sharing Your Plan
This column was triggered by a casual conversation with a friend who mentioned that her boomer parents (who are still very active and involved in life) refuse to discuss financial issues, or their wishes for “just in case.” It is a stubbornness that will be costly when life takes its natural course.

I am writing this column so she and her siblings (and you?) can clip it and show it to her parents, hoping they will wake up to reality before a stroke or dementia make it impossible to discuss, much less plan.

I have created a handy guideline for this discussion. At my website, TerrySavage.com, on the top right corner there is a box to download and print out my “Personal Financial Organizer” – a fill-in-the-blanks document listing contact information for your legal and financial professionals, the location of your will and cemetery deeds, your credit cards and account numbers, and passwords or access to online files.

Just filling in this form together will show you what’s missing – and what still needs to be done. And print a copy for yourself and your siblings to share at your holiday dinner. You, too, need a reminder about planning.

This discussion is not about “who gets what” or how much. It is not about handing over power over bank accounts or investments. But, it is about making sure that the proper documents are in place “just in case” – and knowing who to contact. It’s about making sure that your adult kids do not go on a treasure hunt to find a forgotten IRA or bank CD, or the “family jewels”!

(I do know there are so many of you out there who are not fortunate enough to have trusted adult children to take on this task. Many seniors are older and alone, but still need someone to handle finances and healthcare decisions as they age. That’s a subject for a separate column which I will write soon.)

Just thinking about the possibilities of aging alone should be a wakeup call to boomers. It’s time to treat your children as the competent (most of them!) adults you raised. Have the “bills and the wills” discussion now. Failure to do that is tempting fate. And that’s The Savage Truth.