OK, small comfort but you are not alone. Right now is the time to talk with your son about what he can expect in the way of financial help. This summer he should start doing two things.
#1 is to research affordable schools where he might be accepted. If he is at private school, there is likely a college counselor who can help in this process. As a last resort, if you’re still living in the states, maybe he needs to do his first two years at a community college and live at home to save money.
#2 he must spend a lot of time online at Scholarships.com and Fastweb.com, looking for scholarship money. Some require community service or essays to qualify. Fill out their search profiles completely so you are exposed to as many potential scholarships as possible. These are free services.
Since you have another child coming along in a few years, this might be a time to consider one of you getting a full-time job, with benefits — and doing your self-employment on weekends or evenings. At least a job should offer retirement savings opportunities, including matching employer contributions.