House purchase after divorce
Our son-in-law left our daughter and her babies(ages 1 and 5) they had just purchased a new bigger house. The divorce is in progress. Should she buy a place now before the divorce is final? Or wait? Or should we buy one for her to rent from us now or after the divorce is final?
Terry Says
A lot depends on how good your divorce lawyer is! I can’t imagine that she would be able to pay for the expenses of that “larger home” on her own — unless she gets a great settlement, continuing maintenance, and he continues to pay what the court orders. My experience tells me that all three are unlikely!
In fact, if you want to help her you should make sure that he is contributing enough during the divorce process to keep the mortgage current as well as taxes and insurance.
Then, when the dust settles, you can determine what will be the best course of assistance to her. Remember, she will probably be emotionally devastated by this, with two young children. Childcare, and even the ability to work, will become a top priority. If you are in a position to provide totally free housing for a while, that would be fabulous. But if she needs to pay rent — even to you — you need to make sure she is in a financial position to do so.
This too will pass. I assume you’ve encouraged them to go to counseling, and are willing to be supportive even if he didn’t turn out to be the wonderful son-in-law you hoped for. Sometimes a crisis like this can make people come together to talk, confront issues, and even move forward together. Encourage that process as part of your gift of support.
Yep, this advice seems a little out of my territory, more Dear Amy than Dear Terry, but I’ve seen it all over the years! Check out my co-authored book on Amazon, called The New Love Deal, written with divorce attorney Gemma Allen, and retired divorce court judge Michele Lowerance.
